WHY?
by angel-venome08
Summary: Yuki got amnesia. he can't remember shuichi. he found his new lover, sakano. what will happen to shuichi? will he accept these things?
1. Past will wait

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation and I don't know what to type...

Author's notes: I don't know what to write. Uhmmm, it's my first time to post a fan fiction here. That's all and pls. reviews I need it badly to inspire me!

WHY?

Chapter 1: Past will wait

But no one knows what fate brings. No one can predict the future. Life is a sorrow. So it does.

"Spicy Marmalade..." It was afternoon then. Shindou Shuichi was singing his newly composed song inspired by his beloved Yuki Eiri. The song is already fading as Shuichi put his best on it.

"Yeah! Great job guys." Sakano-san said. (CLAPS)

"Nyahaha, it's because you have the best singer in town." Shuichi said.

"Whatever you say, Shuichi." Hiro said.

"You're hurting me Hiro-kun. Well, better hurry or Yuki might be angry... sayonara." He said as he bid goodbye to his friends.

A sudden change of emotion was reflected from Sakano when he heard the name Yuki.

"Yuki, huh?" He murmured.

In Yuki's house;

"Yuki! Why can't we go to the zoo?"

"Urasai, doa'ho, you're such a childish guy!"

"Yuki Onegai?"

Shuichi said as he put his best in convincing Yuki.

"Don't disturb me, you jerk!"

"Yuki...Yuki...Yuki... why are you always like that to me huh? You're always ignoring me... Why?" Shuichi asked then Yuki sees the tears forming in Shuichi's eyes.

"I said Shut up!" Yuki, giving up gave Shuichi a reassuring kiss. It is a promise.

Morning came...

"Ohayo!" Shuichi said.

"Oh! Seems ENERGETIC!" Hiro said.

"HAI!" Yuki and I are going for a date." He replied.

"Can't you stop saying the name of that bitch?" Sakano said.

Everyone was shocked. They can't believe that a man like him can say those words.

"Anooo, gomenasai I didn't mean it. It's just from a drama series that I've watched yesterday." He said.

"Well, Sakano-san I forgive you. You shouldn't watch those kind of dramas." He replied.

"Alright, chatting is over. We're going to be late on our interview."

Kei, there manager said. Sakano sighed. After a long time of weary interview, Shuichi went to the zoo as fast as he could and waited for Yuki.

"AHHHHHH! YUKIIIII! Where are you?" "He's late...latee...lateeee..." Shuichi said. "I'm hungry." He continued.

Meanwhile Yuki is on the other side of the road then he saw Shuichi. Shuichi saw Yuki.

"YUKIIII!"... YUKI! Why are you late? How could you let me wait for 5 long hours?"

"Damare, important is I'm here." Yuki said.

"Because you let me wait for so long... uhmmm... you should treat me some ice cream, ne?"

"Alright, I'll treat you." "YEAH! 8 scoops would be enough" Shuichi replied.

"Yeah, right!" Yuki almost slip because of shock.

"I want chocolate, mango, melon, vanilla, cheese, watermelon, blueberry, strawberry flavors. I also want sushi, is there a sushi flavors in ice creams?" Shuichi said.

Yuki seeing his love in his stupidity gently laughs. "Wait for me here, I'll buy you're ice cream."

"Hai!" Shuichi said.

"Yuki really loves me... (Laughs) Better follow him or he might see another GUY!" he continued. As he walks in the street he was in his fantasy coma again...

"I won't ignore you anymore...aishiteru!" Yuki said (FANTASY COMA) "hihihi". Shuichi said.

Shuichi back in the real world laughs.

Shuichi walks.

Traffic light signals go.

Rushing car comes.

Yuki looked back.

Yuki runs.

Shuichi screams.

"NNNNNNNOOOO!"

"Doctor, call a doctor, an ambulance, an ambulance, HELP!"

"Paging doctor Tooya to ER pls, doctor Tooya to ER please..."

Meanwhile the most popular band in Japan, the nettle grasper is practicing for their concert for the benefit of Childcare 888."

But no one knows what fate brings... No one can predict the future...

KRNGGG...KKKRRRNNNGGG...

"Moshi-moshi." Seguchi Tohma answered.

"Seguchi- san, Seguchi-san." Shuichi said nervously.

"Calm down Shindou-san, why did you call?"

"Yuki-kun, Yuki-kun." Shuichi said.

"What happened to Eiri?" Tohma asked.

"Car...Yuki...Hit...hospital...blood..." Shuichi said

. "Say it Shindou-san."

"YUKI WAS HIT BY A CAR!" Shuichi blurted out.

"What? Where is he? What hospital?"

"The hospital that is near the park." Shuichi said.

"Wait for me there I'll inform Mika-san" Tohma said.

"hai" Shuichi replied.

All the while Ryuichi, the lead singer of the band was listening to their conversation.

"Yuki? Accident?" Ryuichi muttered then he rushed to the others and tells what happened.

"What? How? Why? But..." Sakano said. "Calm down Sakano-san." Hiro said. "Let's go to the hospital." Kei said... "Yuki got accident? Yuki, my Yuki?" Sakano whispered.

After several hours of operation

The doctor went out of the ER as well as the nurses bringing with them the gadgets used.

Shuichi immediately asked, "How's Yuki doc.? Is he safe?"

"I'm sorry but..."

"But what?" Mika-san asked.

"There's a blood clot in his brain which is a big problem..." the doctor replied.

"What's the problem? Pls. say it directly."

"He's got amnesia." The doctor replied.

"What? Can you cure him?" Shuichi asked.

"I'm sorry but there's a little possibility for him to recover. Cases like his are very difficult to handle. There's a possibility that he can't be able to recognize at least one of you though he is cured." The doctor replied.

"No. It can't be true. We're just having our date a while ago, it is a joke, and Yuki's playing with me again, right. He's kidding me right, Hiro it's not true, tell me it's not true." Shuichi said tears forming in his eyes.

Hiro seeing his friend in sorrow comforts him. Shuichi started tocry out loud and he went to Yuki's room..

"Yuki wake up, I know you're playing with me again. I'm not gonna be fooled easily. Wake up...Wake up... WAKE UP!" Shuichi said.

All of them saw how hard it is for Shuichi to take what was happening. They understand, they know how much Shuichi's love for Yuki is. It's immeasurable. They know that he can even sacrifice his dreams and ambitions just to be with Yuki. Yet they can't do anything but pity him and share with his sadness. But no one knows that there is also someone who suffers more than Shuichi... Sakano-san. Sakano can't take what was happening so he went out of the hospital and ran as fast as he could to break away from the atmosphere he can't bare.

"Why? Why?" Sakano said. "If only you have chosen me, this would not happened then... Damn you Yuki, damn you for making so in love with you." Sakano said.

Nobody knows that Sakano have feelings for Yuki. But Yuki knows it.

(PAST)

"Sakano where are going?" Yuki asked.

"To a place where we can enjoy ourselves" Sakano said.

After 30 minutes of walk Sakano stopped, "here we are!"

"Karaoke house?" Yuki said.

"Hai! I'm sure we'll going to enjoy this one."

"NEVER MIND! I'm going home. I've got lots to do." Yuki said.

"You sure you don't want to stay?" Sakano asked.

"Yes." "Well then, what can I do. Go home safely ne?" Sakano said.

"Alright, you too.." Yuki said then he went away. Also, it is the night when Yuki first met Shuichi.

(PRESENT)

"IF I had just let you stay then you wouldn't have met Shindou-san, if only? But I will be selfish if I let you stay you wouldn't have found your happiness if I let you stay."

He blurted out. People saw him crying and talking to himself de he doesn't care. His pain is too much and he doesn't care if he's seen crying like a child.

"If only I have admitted my feelings for you, I wouldn't have suffered this much. But I was scared. I was scared that you might reject me. I'm afraid that you will not love me back. If only I have the courage that Shuichi has, I would have say that...that..." he stopped, he didn't realize that he is back in the hospital.

"Yuki." "Oh! It's my fault, it's my entire fault. If only I didn't gave up in convincing Yuki to go home." Mika said and was cut by his tears.

"It's not your fault. It's neither Yuki's fault nor Shindou's fault, nor the driver's fault. No one expected this to happen," Tohma said.

Shuichi is in Yuki's room waiting for him to wake up. Sakano went up to see Yuki. 8 hours had passed and at last Yuki woke up. He moved his eyes and saw Shuichi.

"Yuki, you're awake!" shuichi said.

His voice was clearly heard outside so the others went inside to see if Yuki is really awake.

"Thank God." Mika said.

Yuki observes the people around him. He is trying to recall their names because he know that these people are important to him especially the pink haired man. He continues to observe and saw Sakano.

"Sakano-san?" he said.

"You can remember now Yuki?" Shuichi said.

"I'm sorry but who are you?" he replied.

"But you do know Sakano" Tohma said.

"Yes, but who are you also?" he replied.

"I'm sorry, but I can't remember you all. My mind tells me that all of you are special to me but... AHHH! My head hurts." Yuki said.

"Don't push your self too much Eiri-kun. You just need time and we'll wait."

Mika said. Somehow Yuki is recovering. He recognize his sister, Tohma, all of them except for Shuichi. And this happening brought Shuichi much sorrow.

"Why? Why? Yuki remembers all of you but why not me. Shuichi started to cry. Since the accident Shuichi focused himself on his singing though it is hard for him. And it's even more painful when hw sees Yuki having a very good time with Sakano. Until one day Shuichi decide to confront Yuki. He thought that Yuki, having an amnesia is just a plan made by the others to make him focused more on work and become very popular.

"Yuki, finally I've got your plan, you can lie to me again, hihihi, I now it is just a big joke when you've got amnesia. You're a very good artist Yuki, a very good one. Shuichi said to himself. Half of it is true. Yes, Shuichi became very popular at this stage of being a singer. He even go beyond the popularity rate of Sakuma Ryuichi . and now he's such a fine singer. But the other half are lies, all lies. He went to Yuki's condo. As he knocks on the door he saw that it was open.

"Huh? Yuki should lock his door always, better tell him" he said. As he goes to Yuki's room he heard that Yuki's talking to somebody else. "Who can that be?" he asked himself.

Life is a sorrow...

He saw Yuki talking to Sakano. He wished he haven't heard their conversation but...

"Yuki, I hide this for so long but now I have the courage to tell you that... that... I love you!" Sakano said.

Shuichi wanted to run. He doesn't want to hear what Yuki is going to say. But his feet do not want to move. It's too late. It's really late.

"I love you too." Yuki said to Sakano and kissed him.

"It's not true!" Shuichi stepped back.

"It can't be true!" Shuichi runs.

It started to rain.

Shuichi is wet, really wet.

"Why Yuki? Why Yuki? Why?" there's a dead end. He stops.

So it does...

"WWWWHHHHYYY?" he said as he throw himself in the darkness where can you love but cannot be love back, thus you can't be hurt.


	2. Destiny or fate?

Disclaimer: I don't own gravitation. I don't own the characters...

Author's note:

Due to insistent public demand, here is the next chapter. Thanks for the many reviews that I've got (laughs). To those who will give a review pls. indicate your email addresses so that I can thank you personally. That's it. And one thing, do not curse me if my grammar is wrong because it's not my fault if I don't have a dictionary mind or whatever. That is why I advice you to bear with my grammar...

Chapter 2: Destiny or Fate?

Days then weeks had passed and still Shuichi have not yet recover from his shock. Because of this, he stopped going to work and stayed at his apartment and cried. The burden inside him can carry no more. The pain within him can stay no longer.

-Shuichi's P.O.V.-

I can't understand myself. Why am I crying like a child? He's just a mere man, a mere creature, a mere guy. How come I fell for him? Why am I crying, believing that Yuki still loves me? Hoping that, I'm still the one who is destined to be his lover, his true happiness. Still believing, I am the one, not Sakano, not him. I can't stand myself being like this. I know, I should move on. I will move on but I don't know where to start. I will forget. I need to forget him! And this time, I will never entrust myself to someone again.

-End of P.O.V-

Shuichi stopped crying and faced the mirror and said, "NEVER!"

The next day Shuichi went to work. He tried to look normal as before. He went to the recording studio and took a deep breath. Then he opened the door. There he saw Hiro,

Kei, and Fujisaki. He searched for Sakano and saw no trace of him.

"Ohayo, sorry if I did not go to work last week." Shuichi said. All was silent, and then

Hiro spoke, "Shuichi daijobu?"

"HUH? What are you talking about? I'm fine. I'm totally fine." Shuichi exclaimed.

"Well then, good because we don't have enough time to finish your recording." Kei said.

"Anooo... Kei-san where's Sakano-san?"

"He resigned." Kei said.

"What?"

Shuichi's P.O.V.

He resigned? Huh! After all he betrayed me. He's a traitor. It would be better if I will not see his face anymore. His face, that fake face He stole him from me. He stole everything from me! He should give it back to me. He should pay me for what is happening. I want to make his life miserable to the point that he would regret of his birth.

End of P.O.V.

"He resigned because he knew that he is the cause of this problem." Fujisaki wondering answered.

"So what?" Shuichi replied plainly.

"So what? The hell Shuichi, what are you talking about? He and Yuki! Are you out of your mind?" Hiro shouted.

Though he was hurt, he has to pretend he's okay.

"Yuki don't care about me anymore, well I don't care about him either!" Shuichi said with an annoyed voice.

Then they stopped questioning him.

"So what now? Who will replace Sakano-san?" Shuichi asked.

"Why don't you ask Sakano-san to be our producer again?" he continued.

COMPLETE SILENCE

"Nani?" Hiro asked

Hiro's P.O.V.

What is he talking about? He is NOT the Shuichi I know. He would rather choose to fight his love for Yuki than accepting his loss from Sakano. I know his hurt, but why is he acting this way? Like nothing happened. I can't understand him. Why?

End of P.O.V.

"Why? Is thee a problem about my suggestion?" Shuichi asked.

"Alright, we'll talk about that some other day. What is important now is we should not waste our time and we still have a recording to finish." Kei said.

"HAI" all said.

After a hell-dying recording they bid their goodbyes.

"Oi Shuichi, let's eat it's my treat." Hiro said.

"I can't. I've got lots to do. Sayonara." Shuichi said as he walked away.

Hiro is wondering of how can Shuichi recovered that fast. He walked and just continues his walking and finally he stopped. He did not plan to go to Yuki's house. He does not know of how it happened. But he thought that he must solve this problem.

He knocked at the door. After several knocks at last someone opened it. But to his surprise it was Sakano. Sakano was surprised too.

"Hiro-kun?" Sakano asked.

"Hello! How's your day today?" he don't know what to say so he just said her friend's favorite sentence.

"Fine..." Sakano replied. "Why are you here? Come in." Sakano continued.

"I need to talk to you... and ...Yuki" Hiro said.

"Oh! Okay. Come inside I'll just call Yuki-kun. You may sit on the sofa. Just wait here." Sakano said.

Sakano went to Yuki's typing room. Yuki is busy. Yuki is staring at something...at someone. It is a picture.

"Who can that be?" Sakano asked to himself.

Yuki's P.O.V.

Why do I have this picture? Why do I have a photo with Shuichi? Is he that 'close' to me? I do not know. I don't want to know.

End of P.O.V.

"Yuki-kun?" Sakano said.

Yuki heard Sakano calling him but his mind does not want to be disturbed and he continued to stare at the photo.

"Yuki-kun." Sakano said.

Finally he decided to stop. He kept the picture in his drawer.

"What is it?" Yuki asked.

"Anooo... Hiro is here. He...wants to... talk to us..." Sakano replied.

"Okay. I'll just fix my things." Yuki replied.

Yuki with Sakano went out of the room. They went to the living room and have their conversation. Hiro said that Sakano should go back in the band because they are not 'complete' without him. At first Sakano are having second thoughts. But then he agreed. Hiro requested to talk to Yuki alone. Sakano said yes and he went to the kitchen and prepares some tea. Hiro looked at Yuki seriously. Yuki is bothered by his looks so he questioned him.

"What is it?" Yuki asked.

"I told you if you ever make him cry and hurt him besides from his stupidity, I will not forgive you." Hiro explained.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Yuki is wondering.

"You also forgot that one? Nonsense! You forgot all about Shuichi and now you are acting like a lost boy!" Hiro shouted.

"Can't you understand Yuki? Shuichi is your LOVER not Sakano!" he continued.

"No... I love Sakano... I love Sakano... NOOO!!" Yuki shouted and he ran away from his house.

Yuki's P.O.V.

I don't know him. I'm not his lover. I'm not his lover. I love Sakano. Sakano is my life. He is my lover not Shuichi not him. AAHHHHH!

End of pov

Yuki's head is aching. He noticed that he was now in the park where he and Shuichi first met. He remembered something.

FLASH BACK

"Your composition is a trash. It is like a grade one's work. It's a trash.... A trash... a trash"  
END OF FLASHBACK

After a week Sakano decided to go back to work. He is nervous. His hands are shaking. But he has to be strong to face his fears. He must overcome this or else he might be some state of happiness when he knew someone is hurt. Somehow good nature still flows in him.

SAKANO'S P.O.V.

I should settle these things with Shuichi. I should finish this once and for all. I should make things clear between Yuki and me. That I'm his new love and he must accept it.

END OF P.O.V.

He clenched his fists and his other hand opened the door. The light was off. He cannot see anything because of the darkness. He searched for the light and turned it on.

WELCOME BACK!!

He read the banner. He saw the group and they are smiling at him.

"Welcome back, Sakano-kun." Kei said.

"Anooo... Arigatou. It's nice to be back." Sakano said.

Shuichi's face was blank. He does not know how he will react.

Shuichi's POV

He is here. I should act normally. Normally. Calm down Shuichi and act normally

END OF POV

Shuichi walked towards Sakano. Shuichi is really nervous.

"Welcome back!" Shuichi said.

"Thank you!" Sakano replied.

"Shuichi- sama... about you, Yuki and me..."

"It's fine with me!" Shuichi cut in.

"It is very fine with me. You and Yuki. I understand. I'm letting him go. Our paths crossed once but it did not work. He found you and d now he's happy. I decided to free him. You and Yuki are meant for each other. It was fate. So I just hope you will love him with all of your heart and I'm happy." Shuichi continued.

"Thank you Shuichi-kun. Thank you!" Sakano said.

There he ended it. His love for Yuki shattered. His heart broke as he said those words.

"It's now over." Shuichi said.

As they say life must go on. You must stand up each time you fall. You can say it's over but it's not. Yuki and Shuichi were destined for each other. Fate decided to choose Yuki and Sakano. I leave it upon the future. Who will win? Is it destiny or fate?


	3. Revenge

CHAPTER 3

Author's notes: Hey people here's chapter 3. Actually I don't know why this chapter ends like this LAUGHS . Anyway pls. read and review.

Chapter III: REVENGE

_I was alone before you came_

_My heart was empty before it gain_

_I live then in the darkest room _

_And there was light and it was you_

He read those words. It was written in a scribbled paper. It was his last composition so far. He wrote it for someone. He wrote for Yuki. Supposed to be, it was really meant for him. But now, it's just a piece of paper. It is now nothing. Shuichi stared at it for a moment and something went back to his mind.

PAST

_Yuki! I love him so much. The song he made, it was me. The song that was sang by Ryuichi last Music fest. How I wish I can write a song like that one. It was superb! Right, I'll compose a song for Yuki too. Something that would make him proud of me and he would love me even more._

He was trying so hard to write something in his paper. But his mind isn't just working.

_Waahhh! I can't think well. What to do? What to do? Maybe I should ask Yuki first_.

END OF PAST

"Yuki..." Shuichi murmured.

Shuichi can't sleep. He just held the paper tightly and continued to stare at it. Then he decided to go for a walk. He passed by Hiro's apartment and stayed at his friend's house.

Knock...knock...

No answer...

There is no one. He checked if the door is locked. It is not, so he just went inside.

_Probably Hiro went out with Ayaka-chan today._

Shuichi scanned Hiro's place. He has not stayed here for a long time now.

_Hiro's place is as clean as ever!_

And then he noticed Ayaka's picture on top of Hiro's mini-closet.

"They really love each other." He said.

"Love..." he continued.

His eyes were tired so he took a nap, a very nice nap.

"Well..." Hiro said.

"Well..." Ayaka replied.

"Thanks for the nice evening." Ayaka continued.

"That's fine. Can we repeat this again?" Hiro blushed.

"Sure..." she blushed.

"Ayaka-san you better go now or you'll catch cold here. Besides you're driver is waiting." Hiro said.

"Hai, you're really sweet." She said and kissed Hiro on the lips lightly.

Hiro was surprised but he then deepened the kiss. He held Ayaka closer to him, closer to his body. Ayaka put his hands on Hiro's neck, trying to return that wonderful kiss. They didn't last for more than a minute. They are already catching their breaths. Hahaha, typical kissing scene of lovers. 

"Maybe we should work on that. We didn't last." Hiro said blushing.

"Hai, I should go now ja ne." Ayaka said.

"Aishiteru"

"I love you too."

"Wow! That was an unbelievable scene." Shuichi said to his self.

Hiro is walking towards his apartment.

"Oh my, I should hide! No, he would see me. I'll just pretend that I am sleeping. Yes sleeping." Shuichi said.

Shuichi immediately went to Hiro's bed and closed his eyes. He tried to snore so that Hiro wouldn't suspect. But it was the opposite. Hiro knew that Shuichi was watching.

"Don't act like that you're sleeping. You're too obvious." Hiro said.

SNORE

SNORE

"Open your eyes now, I'm not angry." He continued. (;. )

SNORE

SNORE

"SHU-I-CHI... I SAID WAKE UP OR ELSE..." Hiro shouted on Shuichi ears.

"Ouch! Why did you do that? You're so mean Hiro-kun."

"What are you doing in my house, at a time like this?" Hiro said.

"Well I can't sleep so I decided to take a walk and my feet brought me here." Shuichi explained.

"What do you want?" Hiro asked.

"If I ask for it, will you give it?" Shuichi said. He was serious now. Hiro saw that Shuichi is serious so he took the situation seriously and he repeated the same question, "What do you want?"

"Hiro-kun I need it badly. Can you give it?"

"Can...can...can you give me warmth?" Shuichi continued.

Hiro was surprised.

Hiro's Pov

_I was really surprised. He wants me to have sex with him. Will I give in? What about Ayaka's feelings? Damn! Shuichi! Damn! _

END OF POV

"Warmth?" Hiro murmured.

"Yes, you asked me of what I want. Now can you give it?" Shuichi said.

Hiro sighed. He is now ready.

Hiro decided. He will give warmth to his friend. Not that he's betraying Ayaka but it is for his best friend. His friend for more than 10 years (I don't know if 10 years is true). Shuichi, his friend that is now, asking him a favor. How can he reject him? He knows that Shuichi is still adjusting to his new world. A new world without love, a world without Yuki.

He will give him warmth.

Hiro sighed again and leaned closer to Shuichi. He was about to kiss him when suddenly Shuichi pushed him back.

"What are you doing?" Shuichi exclaimed.

"Nani? What are you talking about? I will give you warmth. I will give in to your favor." Hiro shouted.

"WAHHHH!! You...you green-minded freak. Yes I needed warmth. I need some hot chocolate or something. Something warm because my stomach is terribly cold. I did not know you have a different thinking. I should warm Ayaka. You...you hentai!" He shouted.

The immediate response of Hiro was to give Shuichi a really hard punch.

"Damn you! You did not know how nervous I was? I am risking myself here. What if Ayaka will know this? I thought you wanted ME to give warmth to you so that you can forget HIM!" Hiro blurted out.

Shuichi was hurt. It was HIM who made his life change. He wanted him to be back. He wanted to gain him again and he wanted his happiness back.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say those things. It's just that I'm a bit surprised." Hiro explained.

"Ne, Hiro, can I have him back?" Shuichi asked.

"Who?" Hiro asked.

"You know who I mean! Can I have him back?"

"I think so!" Hiro replied.

"How?"

"But, didn't you get mad because of what happened?" Hiro asked.

"Of course I did but I know he's happy but still I want him back." Shuichi explained.

"Why don't you take revenge?" Hiro suggested.

"WHY??" he asked.

"Because he hurt you and still he's hurting you." Hiro said.

"Should I?" Shuichi asked.

"Maybe just teach him a lesson that he is yours and forever will be yours." Hiro explained.

"That's a good idea! Maybe I should really get my revenge!" he laughed.

Shuichi decided to take his revenge. He wanted to have him back. He wanted everything to be back. Thank you to the suggestion of Hiro, Shuichi can now live!

Owari

Author's notes:

So how was it? Well if you liked the song that was written on the first part, you'll see more of it in the next chapters. And if you want to see the whole song I have my account on The title of the song is **_but I love you still_**. I made that song for this story. See you next chapter and pls. reviews!! ()


	4. Remembering the Past

Author's notes:

Hello guys, here's another chapter. It took me several months to post this one because I have many things to accomplish during those times. Sorry if this one is too late. Enjoy! Please read and review.

**Chapter IV: Remembering the Past**

"_Aishiteru Yuki." Sakano said and he kissed Yuki._

Yuki is writing his new novel. Of course his last novel, "Lover", was a big hit. He did not want the title but the publishing company insisted so he just gave in. He started to his novel. He was in the middle of typing it when he received an e-mail. Not knowing who send the email in the middle of the night, he opened it. He was surprised. It was from the man who would never send him this kind of email or rather would not send him any email.

_Garasu no bedo ni toraware no motion_

_Tesaguri de shukujo wa kamikudaku_

_Soliday na tail de midara na hane collection_

_Himei hodo mujaki na yoruga hoshii_

_Yuuutsu no borode odoru jiyuu to uso ni tsuda nukare_

_Moroku maichiru puzzle kono shihai kara tobitate_

_Kiss shining hitomi ni kuchizukete_

_Toke dasu hanabira mo jama ni naru_

_Make me shining irozuku shigeki no hate ni_

_Kagayakihajimeta maboroshi_

_Shikai wo nukedashita panorama no dimension_

_Kanpeki na gitai wa tada furueru_

_Cheap na shokushu wa mitsu wo motomeru reaction_

_Tsumetakutemo hiwai na kimi ga mitai_

_Nanairo ni moteasobu waki-da-shita kairaku no umi_

_Kage ga fuchidoru game kono sekai kara uchinuke_

_Kiss shining kodoku wo katashidori_

_Karamaru koukai ga kuu wo kiru_

_Make me shining chirabaru kokoro no hahenra_

_Mabushiku sugisaru kibou ni_

_Ta-iki wa somaru akaku nureta yubisaki ni habatakenu_

_chou no namida_

_Subete wa suna ni naru shining, make you cry_

_Kiss shining hitomi ni kuchizukete_

_Toke dasu hanabira mo jama ni naru_

_Kill me shining irozuku shigeki no hate ni_

_Kagayakihajimeta maboroshi_

_Please don't cryin' kodoku wo katashidori_

_Karamaru koukai ga kuu wo kiru_

_Make me shining chirabaru kokoro no hahenra_

_Mabushiku sugisaru kibou ni_

He read it. It is a song. It is his song. He scrolled down his mouse and saw a note at the bottom of the song.

_Ne, Yuki, this song, you remember it right? You wrote it for Nittle Grasper and that song is me. Your song is talking about me. Don't worry, I understand. You still love me and I'll have you back. In any cost, I'll bring you back! _

_Shuichi_

Yuki immediately erased the email. He shut down his computer and went to his room. He saw Sakano sleeping. When Yuki invited Sakano to live in his house, they lived a life like other live-in couples do. Sleeping in one room is just one of them. But so far, they have not gone so much "intensity", not forgetting the fact that they are sleeping in one room. Yuki respected Sakano so much and he's thankful to have Sakano beside him.

But this time Yuki wanted to give in to the urge of his humanity. He don't care of what will the people say. He's just being true to himself and he just wanted to be happy. They just wanted to be happy.

He stared at Sakano for a moment. So serene, he is his angel. He wanted to fight against the urge of his body because he respected Sakano. He doesn't want lust to take over him. He was about to sleep when Sakano asked him, "Yuki are you done?"

"Not yet. I just want to rest. I guess I'm already worn out. What about you? Why are still awake? I already thought that you are sleeping."

"Oh nothing, I just can't sleep. Ne, Yuki can I ask you something?"

"You are already asking." Yuki replied.

"Oh… Yes."

"Yuki, do…you…really…love…me?" Sakano asked and he looked directly in Yuki's eyes.

Yuki was a bit surprised. His lover was now asking him to prove his love. Will he give it?

"Why do you ask?" Yuki is now asking.

"I guess I can't help it. You see, I think this relationship won't work. We are too busy in many things. Or maybe YOU ARE too busy with so many things that I tend to fill up your part as being my lover. Can I consider this as a one-man relationship? If so, then I should have created a record of a man having himself as his own lover! Just tell me if you don't need me anymore. But still, I'm so much in love with you." Sakano said as tears started to fall down from his eyes.

Yuki felt sad. He knew that he's acting strange for some reason. He's not that sweet to Sakano. He knew it. All this time he knew that his emotions towards Sakano are not enough. Not enough to level Sakano's love. From the very start something was wrong. Back when Sakano confessed his love for Yuki that rainy night.

PAST

"Yuki, I hide this for so long. But now I have the courage to tell you this. I love you!" Sakano said.

At that time Yuki saw Shuichi. He saw the tears in Shuichi's eyes. He saw Shuichi running away. He wanted to follow him but he can't, he just can't. he just found his new lover. Then again, he remembered something,

PAST 1.1

"It's fine with me being your lover." Yuki said

"What?" The man said. His face was blurred.

"I said I can be your lover."

END OF PAST 1.1

Yuki does not know if he made the right decision, if he chose the right person. But he can't do anything, not now.

END OF PAST

Yuki was silenced with Sakano's words. But then he wanted to prove that he really love Sakano, not only for Sakano but for him as well.

Yuki kissed Sakano. He is planning to do "it" with him. He thought that Sakano has sacrificed so much just to be with him. He thinks that he should now pay Sakano for the happiness that Sakano gave him.

Yuki caressed Sakano's body. Touching and exploring is a wonderful feeling for Yuki.

"Are you sure, you want to continue?" Sakano asked with some moans.

"I love you." Yuki replied.

They continued there fling but Yuki remembered something.

PAST

"Ne, ne Yuki, can you hug me?"

"If you want it so badly, then let's go to our room."

"That's so unfair!"

"Is that a no?"

"Uhmmm…not at all!"

END OF PAST

Yuki stopped. Tears came out from his eyes. He remembered him. He has hurt him so much. And it's going to start…

Yuki's anguish

End

Author's notes:

SO how was it? I have to put many PAST there and I also placed Yuki's song for Shuichi. Hahahaha. See you next chap. Pls. reviews!


	5. Present over past

Author's notes: Hey guys, another chapter in here. It's been a long time and at last I finished the fifth chapter. I've been so busy lately and it's just now that I had my free time and I decided to update this story. Okay, that's it for now. Read and review!

Chapter V: Present over past

_Yuki stopped. Tears came out from his eyes. He remembered him. He has hurt him so much. And it's going to start…._

_Yuki's agony…_

"I'm sorry Sakano, I'm so sorry!" Yuki said.

"It's alright Yuki-kun, I guess you're not yet ready for this. I understand and I'm willing to wait." Sakano said and he went to the bathroom.

Sakano was not alright. It hurts, deep inside it hurts. For so many times, he wished that he and Yuki can be one someday. They can be one in physical and emotional aspects. He thought at that very moment his wish can come true. It's not only a wish but a desire to be with Yuki. A desire that burns inside him, that he kept for a long time now, but now he's hurt. He does not want to lose Yuki but he does not know what to do. He started to cry out but not loud enough to be heard by Yuki. He's so confused and lost, but there's something he was sure of, he's not going to give up Yuki. He's not going to let go Yuki, he's going to fight for him. If not for their love, for the happiness that it can bring him.

Yuki was so confused now. He remembered Shuichi but he does not know what to do. He doesn't want to hurt Sakano but he want to be happy.

"Shit!" That's all the word that he can say right. He tried to get his sleep. He wanted to rest. He'll fix these things tomorrow. Right now, he wanted to have enough sleep for a big day that will come tomorrow.

…..

Shuichi was sleeping in Hiro's apartment again. Its fine with Hiro but sometimes Shuichi's getting into his nerves because of his stupidity and Shuichi listens to Hiro and Ayaka's PRIVATE conversation intentionally. But Hiro knows that Shuichi just misses being in love and being loved by someone.

The next day, Tohma set an important meeting with Bad luck. Everyone was there except for Sakano. Tohma said that he received a call from Sakano telling him that he cannot come today and he's not feeling well. Shuichi was worried, even though Sakano got Yuki form him, he still cares. After all, Sakano is still his friend.

"The purpose of this meeting is about your new album." Tohma said.

"WHAT?" Shuichi said excitedly.

"A new album Shindou-san, you are going to make your next album and the success of this album is within your hands and your music as well." Tohma explained.

"Alright! I'm going to put my best in this new album! This album will put us to the top guys! I promise, I swear, I will do it!" Shuichi shouted.

"Whatever you say, Shuichi." Hiro said with a smile on his face.

"I guess this will make him busy for some time." Hiro said and he was happy for his friend. For this moment Shuichi can get Yuki out of his mind.

Shuichi decided to go to his apartment so that he can concentrate in his writing. He got a pen and some sheets of paper. He started to write. The theme he chose for the new album is about love. Phrases and ideas came out from his mind. It went well at first, but in the middle of the song, it sounded so boring. Shuichi throw the sheet of paper and started all over again. The same thing happened with his second try, his third try until the last sheet that he has. The crumpled papers are scattered all over the room. It started to annoy him. He got another pad of paper and started to write again. He did not make anything, not even a single song.

"Damn! What's wrong with me? Why can I not write a single song? It was very easy for me before. Why now?" Shuichi wondered.

Again he remembered Yuki.

"I want to be with Yuki." Shuichi said and started reminiscing the best times they had back then.

He smiled. He remembered their first encounter, his unexpected first kiss in the elevator, his first night in Yuki's room and many more. In those times he can say that he is contented. He's famous and he's happy with Yuki. Nothing more to wish for, nothing more to ask, he can say that he's complete. But that was a long tome before.

He started to write again. This time he promised he can make one.

_I was alone before you came,_

_My heart was empty before it gained_

_I lived then in the darkest room _

'_Til there was light and it was you_

_I thought you were my everlasting life_

_Forever will be mine, forever will be mine_

_I thought you were my entity_

_My love, my life, my soul_

He read it again and continued writing.

_I saw you find your heart's deep love_

_And it's hurting me to see you glad_

_For I have seen you cried and laugh _

_And for all this time, you are not mine. _

Shuichi fell asleep.

…..

Sakano went out to make him forget what happened last night. But it didn't work at all. As time passed he continues to think about Yuki. He can't live without him.

It started to rain but Sakano does not care. He continued to walk and he noticed that he was in the park again. He sat on one of the chairs and stared blankly to the sky.

Yuki, on the other hand is in his house, still thinking, still choosing. He noticed that it was raining hard outside. He remembered Sakano. Sakano did not bring any umbrella or rain coat with him. Yuki immediately got two umbrellas and went out to find Sakano. He searched everywhere. He searched in every mall that he could find, he searched in the cinemas and he even went to the recording studio of Bad luck, but he's nowhere to be find. He's going give up when he remembered that place. He ran as fast as he could to reach that place. And he was right, he saw Sakano there, soaking wet.

"Sakano" Yuki said panting.

"Y..y..u..k.i? What are you doing here?" Sakano said in a surprised voice but deep inside he was happy.

"Let's go home." Yuki said with a smile on his face.

Yuki chose Sakano again. He chose Sakano's happiness over his. It's a very hard decision for him, but he's done it and he cannot turn back now. He chose his present than his past. He knows that someday he'll learn to love Sakano with all of his heart. He knew that he will hurt Shuichi more and hurt himself as well. But he's done it and there's no turning back. There's no turning back.

"Are you sure, Yuki-kun?" Sakano asked.

Yuki didn't reply, he just kissed Sakano and Sakano kissed him back.

"Aishiteru Yuki." Sakano said.

"I love you too." Yuki whispered.

….

"_Shuichi, I'm sorry, I did not love you at all. I just used you to make Sakano jealous. I did not know that you will really fall for me. I love Sakano and I can't leave without him. I'm sorry." Yuki said_

"_No, Yuki, I love you and I know that you love me too. Don't leave me, don't go away! Yuki! NO! YUKII!" Shuichi shouted._

Shuichi woke up. "A dream, it's only a dream. It can't be real. Yuki will not leave and I know that. All I have to do is make him remember about his past and everything will be alright."

_Yuki, I'll make you remember the past. I'll make you remember our relationship; I'll make you remember everything about us. You cannot love other person than me because you're mine. I'll have you back, no matter what happens I'll have you back!_

Author's notes:

So how was it? I'll see next chap. Don't forget to give me some reviews ne?


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